DE LIBERIS: INCEPTUM

At some point in our ordinary lives we reach a point where we sit down, take a deep breath, and contemplate having children. Not just borrowing our friends' or or siblings' children for the weekend; no, real children who are our very own. The nature of this introspection will differ from person to person, but the gist is that we become interested in the very real prospect of procreation.

Some people I know have sat down to think this over only when they discover they're pregnant (or their girlfriend, or ex, or whoever is pregnant). Others seemed to be rearing to go from a much younger age. I recall many a childhood friend who would practise parenthood by pretending that their dolls were their own brood. Woe betide any poor boy who was roped into playing house and all the domesticity it entailed. For others it came later, but was still bizarre--a buddy of mine in High School made it very clear to me that he was hip-shopping when he dated because having children for him was tantamount.

Whenever we hit this turning point, we invariably think about how our own parents raised us. We remember the indignity of being young, how we promised ourselves that we would never raise our own children that way. We would never hit them, or swear in front of them. We would we strict but fair, and never unkind.

No doute our own parents had this exact same conversation with theirselves, leaving me to ponder what horrible things they deemed unfit to pass on to the next generation. The further ponderance is, of course, couldn't they have done better? Was their childhood that bad that this was an improvement? Well, I'll certainly do better, I commend myself, and then give myself a much-needed pat on the back while sipping my Tanqueray & Tonic and pleasantly forgetting that I don't actually have children yet.

My revery ends here, because of course I haven't bred. For most of my life I swore I wouldn't have children of my own. I'm the kid, I would selfishly tell myself. I don't want to share the fun with anybody!

I've aged beyond that now, aging itself being another something I swore to myself I wouldn't do. I feel that je ne sais quoi, a calling if you will, a pull to endure the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.

This pull is strong, in spite of seeing the trouble that infants, toddlers, juveniles, teens, and college-aged adults are prone to, as well as the toll they take on the mental and physical health of their parents. But hey! we're all going to die sometime. If it's in the service of our heirs, all the better (I usually need a shot gin at this point).

Long story short: I want to have children. Not today, mind you. I might be amenable to the idea, but I certainly am not ready. I cannot fathom how the parents of surprise pregnancies thrive. I cannot do anything without having all the paperwork pre-filed ahead of time and in triplicate. I hate learning on the fly, and that's one of the mistakes I intend to correct in the next generation.

I'm starting to get that paperwork in order now. I intend to be a very active participant in the rearing of my offspring. As such, I feel it is important to sit down, relax, and figure out what's important to me. The sooner I know this, the sooner the wife and I can iron out our differences, as well as see proof-positive of how much we have in common!

DE LIBERIS is Latin for 'on or regarding children.' All of my diary entries with this preface will discuss this particular topic, but not be in any particular order of importance. I am most interested in how to maintain my sanity, but I'm sure I'll explore other arcane details along the way.

7 Comments:

At 8/21/05, 10:50 PM, Blogger cxjo said...

u better work on those hips, boy :P

 
At 8/22/05, 1:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow...this is too cool for words.

by the way, great line in "Zorba the Greek"

"do you have kids"

"yes I have kids, wife ...kids..the full catastrophe"

I think the key word here is "full"...

-Carol

 
At 8/22/05, 12:53 PM, Blogger Les said...

tick tick tick goes your biological clock.

what does tammy think of this?

i'm having trouble convincing my gf to bear my young, but I think maybe I should wait until i've done PhD coursework or something.

 
At 8/22/05, 2:38 PM, Blogger cxjo said...

no no no.. that's his timebomb... the biological clock goes tick tock tick tock...

 
At 8/22/05, 2:53 PM, Blogger Crinis said...

Shhh! There is no timebomb (or spoon, for that matter). I've been working out, so my hips are looking good! Don't read too much into these posts. Mostly I'm just having fun with the blog environment and writing about whatever comes to mind.

 
At 8/22/05, 8:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey there no "fun" in the blog environment. Just a lot of people with made up names and a ton of hostility. I mean what is this, Thanksgiving here?

C

 
At 8/23/05, 7:32 PM, Blogger Crinis said...

C, don't make me condemn you to hell again! hehehe

 

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