DE LIBERIS: LVSVS ET VINA

The continuing saga of my musing on the tribulations of raising children. Today I explore the Dionysean duality.
Part I: INCEPTVM
Part II: INAVRES ET CASTVLAE
Part II: TELEVISIO ET LVSVS COMPVTATRALIS


Toys: (lusvs) None. My children will lead an austere life. They will learn to appreciate every speck of dust for its intrinsic entertainment value, dammit. The basics, I say. Nothing that sings. Or dances. Especially Elmo. No Elmo. No way. Wooden blocks, dolls, action figures, and an etch-a-sketch. That's it. Stop begging. No you can't have that eight-hundred dollar nine-thousand piece lego castle of the Tower of London--unless you promise that I can play with it, too.

Alcohol: (uina) Only when my parents come over so I can shock them with how liberal I am when I give my children glasses of expensive chardonnay. Other than that, I should probably try to set a good example by drinking moderately, not having night-caps, and only buying good beer. I should also teach them how to brew their own. That's an important life skill. Especially when they're in college and too young to buy alcohol. If they can make their own, it'll increase their popularity with other minors and make mid-terms and finals less stressful.

6 Comments:

At 10/18/05, 8:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah no Pabst, or Bud, I mean that can lead a child to the stronger stuff.

Yeah I and Like the no toys idea. Make them learn to spend all day playing with themselves ;-)

-Carol

 
At 10/18/05, 12:50 PM, Blogger jenny said...

good luck with that - basics are great, owen is constantly finding amusement value is very mundane things - but doting grandmas buy things that sing. and make truly irritating repetitive noises of all kinds. and it's amazing how fast you learn to tune them out :)

mmm...beer....

 
At 10/19/05, 4:25 AM, Anonymous Saar Drimer said...

My undersatnding (from foreign sources) is that all the planning before executing this childbaring thing is futile. The reason is simple: when you are dieing to get some sleep you'll put on MTV and force your kid to sing along Britney and Puffy and immitate their moves. Sleep depravation and quiet seem to be more powerful than long term affects of your kid becoming an MTV-clone.

 
At 10/19/05, 10:58 AM, Blogger Crinis said...

Jenny, I have discovered that the only toy children truly like is a cardboard box. Once the toy arrives in shiny cbb, I'll pull the toy in the recycle bin and give the real entertainment to the waif.

Saar, you're ahead of the game here. I have a chapter on sleep deprivation coming up. And of course all the planning is futile, duh!

 
At 10/19/05, 12:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know it's funny, in my experiences with kids, ie pre-schools teaching etc, I don't find the toys issues hard, nor tv time, it's the whole boundries issue and discipline. To me it's like diamond cutting, you really gotta get it right and it's the hardest thing to do. The most well meaning parents sit and yell at 3 year olds like that works! It doesn't. And then you have to have structure in the home too, or the kids take total advantage.

Then the real challenge is when they hit pre-adolescence (earlier than you think) and of course teen years. They aren't so cute anymore, and they test you big time. And yet that is when they need you the most.

-Carol

 
At 10/20/05, 3:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Speaking of kids, I just saw this neat thing on nightline about the guy who the novel and film "Horse Whisperer" are about. Anyways, he is now working with at risk youth using the same methods, talk quietly, at their level. No shouting, show respect. It's working over at a district near clear lake. Very exciting new thing in education. He says he gets resistence from many American schools districts though, he mainly has worked in UK

-Carol

 

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