Here's what LASIK was like from my perspective.

First, the earth cooled... Then there was vallium. That was pretty nifty. Then they dialated my left eye and gave me a hair net and a pair of sunglasses. I was stylin'. Then, as my appointment time got more and more delayed, they gave me more vallium. That was swell. I got bored. Tammy finished her book. I stopped being to read my sudoku puzzle because my left eye was too dialated.

Finally we gave them enough nasty looks (OK, Tammy did, I was feeling too swell to give anybody a nasty look) and my turn came up. They put numbing drops in my eyes and led me away to the LASER ROOM, dum da dum! Numb eyes, by the way, feel a lot like regular eyes, except you can touch your cornea and not even notice.

They did my left eye first. Tammy got to watch everything, which she said was like the surgery channel.

Dr K put an uncomfortable clamping device to hold open my left eyelid. I was told to stare at the flashing red light. Then they tapped my eye and then the dr warned me that everything was about to go blurry. First everything went black and there was a faint sound of a whirling motor. Then I could see again, but sure enough, the blinking light was no longer a solid dot but a morass of fuzzy blinking streaks.

Then I heard what sounded like a tesla coil and saw purple lights dances in front of me. That lasted mere microseconds. I smelled ozone. A moment later the world came back into 'focus' again (that is, the massive blurryness went away). I felt the dr brush something across my eye and then he dabbed something in a ring pattern around my eye. That was it!

What Tammy saw: A thin deli-cutter style blade sawed my cornea open and the dr flipped the flap out of the way. The laser blasted my for but a second. The dr flipped the flapped back over and brushed it lightly to remove any air bubbles. Then he applied glue around the incised edge.

Right eye was just like the left, but faster as it didn't require the special lazer. For some reason the eyelid clamp was more uncomfortable.

Total time: 10 minutes.

Every light on the way home had a blurry halo around it. But I could read road signs that weren't illuminated! I could already tell that it had worked. When I got home I crawled into bed and fell asleep for about an hour. I woke up groggy, ate dinner, drank some wine, and relaxed before going to bed.

I slept lousy last night. I have to wear these eye shields and they are terribly uncomfortable. I kept rolling over onto my back because the eye sheilds didn't bother me there, but I snore when I do that. Tammy would shove me and I'd go back onto my side and fall asleep for awhile until it became too unbearable and I'd go onto my back again. Repeat.

This morning I had a post-op and everything was fine. I even drove myself there. Perfect vision the whole way! Rather nifty. My eyes are super-dry though, and I'm constantly lubricating them. I'm told that effect wears off after several weeks.


At 1/26/06, 12:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh wow, I know some other people who want to do this. Sounds worth it!



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