Airport Security Theater

Based on reports and personal experience, it's readily apparent that the TSA's function--whatever it is--is not to protect America from terrorists. From all I can tell, it's sole function is Keep America Fat.

First, there are the daredevils, those who put Hezbollah flags in their luggage, change their boarding passes, and forget their IDs. They get through security just fine.

But, if you take organic creamy peanut butter through security at Lihue airport, HI, it'll get confiscated for being a liquid. We argued that it wasn't, in fact, anything like a liquid, but more of a viscous solid with highly nutritious properties. It didn't deter the TSA minions. Peanut butter was verboten, despite its tastiness when applied to rye crackers.

Of course, the metal container of 16 oz of liquid, you know, the one containing water (or something else??? and did I mention it was metal???) went right by them. In fact, they had to move it out of the way to get to the innocuous PB. I think the TSA was hungry and a couple of granolas were the perfect target for a mid-morning snack.

But if you want to take junk food on a plane, no problem: chips (aka crisps), candy, hamburgers, no problem. But food (as opposed to foodlike substances) aren't allowed. Our modern TSA: keeping America safe from a healthy diet.

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